Are you one of those individuals who always wondered why some people seem to have it all, while others continually struggle, irrespective of how hard they work? Have you questioned whether these successes or failures are merely a matter of luck, or if there’s a deeper mechanism at work? If you’ve been pondering these questions, we invite you to dive deep into our illuminating article: “Are You Programmed For Success… Or Failure?” This piece will provide you with invaluable insights into the profound influence of our upbringing on our life trajectories. You’ll discover the concept of the “Invisible Lifestyle” and how it could be holding you back or propelling you forward. So, we encourage you to continue reading, as understanding these underlying patterns could be your first step towards creating the successful life you’ve always envisioned.
Have you ever wondered why some people have it all?
They’re well liked by everyone they meet, financially set, and attractive…but what stands out most is their beaming sense of self-confidence when they enter a room. It’s almost as if they have a certain “presence” that gives off positive vibes.
Not everyone is so fortunate
However, not everyone is this fortunate. There are people who are faced with low self worth, they struggle to maintain positive relationships and often feel resentful towards people who are better off than they are.
So, what’s the difference?
How can one person be so incredibly successful while another person constantly struggles just to get by?
The answer lies in what I call your “Invisible Lifestyle”
Your Invisible Lifestyle is what made you into the person you are today. You were literally “programmed” with the habits and beliefs that you follow today (or refuse to follow).
So who were the programmers?
Look no further than your very own parents or guardians. It’s true. Your parents unknowingly “programmed” you to become the person you are today. The reason I say ‘unknowingly’ is because your parents raised you the best they could based on how their parents raised THEM.
The “brain wiring” of your original programmers (your parents)
Because of the “brain wiring” of your original programmers (your parents), as an adult, you are duplicating the way they lived when you were young.
Examples of “Invisible Lifestyles”
Invisible Lifestyle A
A stands for “ALWAYS”. “What you didn’t notice your parents doing as a child, you are faithfully reproducing today, and you don’t have a clue you’re doing it.”
Invisible Lifestyle B
B stands for “BUCKING”. “What you couldn’t stand your parents doing when you grew up; you won’t stand for in your relationships today.”
Now I’m not telling you to place BLAME on your parents
Your parents raised you based on everything they knew at the time. It’s ALL they knew. It’s not their fault…it’s NOBODY’S “FAULT”.
The key is to understand and accept
Understand and accept the fact that the negative values you absorbed from your parents (i.e., fear of failure, low self worth, jealousy) are programs literally “wired” into your brain.
If your parents’ programmed you with some negative values
If your parents’ programmed you with some negative values that are causing you problems in your life today… it’s NOT your fault… but it IS your responsibility to do something about it.
Don’t live your life with a blindfold on. Create a better future by first identifying and then eliminating the values from your parents that are causing you trouble today.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How can I change the negative values that I inherited from my parents?
Firstly, you need to identify the negative values you inherited. They could be beliefs or habits that are not serving you well. Once identified, consciously work towards changing them. This may involve setting new rules for yourself, seeking professional help such as a therapist or a life coach, reading self-help books, or surrounding yourself with positive influences who exhibit the values you wish to adopt.
- How can I identify my “Invisible Lifestyle”?
Identifying your “Invisible Lifestyle” involves taking a deep, introspective look into your behaviors, beliefs, and values. Consider the values and behaviors you were exposed to in your upbringing, and reflect on how they have shaped your own behaviors and beliefs today. It can be helpful to journal this process or discuss it with a trusted friend or professional.
- What can I do if my parents programmed me with negative values?
It’s important to remember that it’s not your fault that you were programmed with negative values, but it is your responsibility to address and change them. Just like in the answer to the first question, after identifying these values, take proactive steps to change them. You might seek professional help or utilize self-help resources to guide you through this process.
- How does my “Invisible Lifestyle” affect my current relationships?
Your “Invisible Lifestyle” can greatly influence your relationships. The habits, behaviors, and beliefs that you’ve internalized from your upbringing can dictate how you interact with others. For example, if you were programmed to believe that you’re not worthy of love, this could make it difficult for you to form healthy, loving relationships. Identifying and changing these negative aspects of your “Invisible Lifestyle” can lead to more positive and fulfilling relationships.
- How can I improve my self-esteem if I was raised in a neglectful household?
Improving self-esteem involves replacing negative self-beliefs with positive ones. Start by acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments. Practice self-compassion and self-care. Try to eliminate self-criticism and instead, speak to yourself as you would to a close friend. Consider seeking professional help such as a therapist, and surround yourself with positive, supportive people. It may take time and effort, but it is possible to improve your self-esteem.