Do you frequently judge and criticize people for their action, behaviors, and mistakes? Are you that kind of person who blames people very easily and focuses on their faults?
Criticism is in the nature of many people. They find it really difficult to hold their tongues from criticizing everyone and everything that is unfortunate enough to enter their sphere. Here it is, if you feel like your relationship is not what it should be to your colleagues, husband, kids or relatives, then you are drowning yourself in the pool of criticism. But don’t worry, this can be curbed and even the most cynical one can dump their negative tendencies. Let’s have a look at the tips that will help you to abandon your crown of being ‘Serial Criticizer’! But before that, let’s have a look at some reasons you should stop criticizing others now.
Why should you stop criticizing others?
- It’s hurtful: Criticizing, chiding or constantly pointing out the flaws and faults of others severely affect your relationship with them. Criticism gradually eliminates connection and even communication.
- It’s Demotivating and Useless: Criticism is extremely demotivating and useless. We criticize people in hope that he/she will change but that’s never happened on top, it ruin our relationship with that person. It’s useless because it does not address the deeper issues you are facing inside you.
- It also makes you unhappy: There’s a really interesting and well-known phenomenon called negative bias. It simply means that we all tend to look for the faults or problems rather than the positive side of a person. This means that you are biased to criticizing others for their misdeeds or faults, no matter how much effort the other person is putting to make you happy, one small mistake and everything is over for you. It makes you unhappy because you will eventually feel irritated, guilty or ashamed for your criticism.
So now you know that criticism is not good for you, let’s find out how to eliminate it from our lives.
How to Stop Criticizing Others?
- Be practical: If someone is frequently disappointing you with their behaviors, it’s best for you to adjust your expectations. If not, you are bound to get frustrated continuously. That means if you can’t change something, either accept it as it is or don’t feel irritated.
- Look for positivity: It’s a little difficult but you need to go out of your way to find the positive thing in a person and then you have to acknowledge it – a lot. Studies show that the damage of your one negative interaction can be reversed by five positive interactions.
- Don’t take anything personally: We all do make mistakes, get tired and then make commitments that are so far from our power to achieve. If you don’t like someone’s behavior, you need to understand that there are maybe some other reason for their behavior which you don’t know. It’s recommended that instead of assuming the worst, try to assume the best for someone’s behavior.
- Consider whether you really need to speak: As the old saying goes, ‘If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all’. Sometimes it is best for you to stay silent. Go out, take deep breaths, calm your anger down and then decide whether you really need to speak something or not.
- Put your point across politely and respectfully: Obviously, nobody always gets what they want. We all have to settle for less sometimes. But you’ll most likely be getting it if you ask politely, directly and respectfully. People tend to listen to you and most likely you will have your needs met.
You need to cultivate a desire to change. Then work on these tips to eliminate criticism from your life.
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